“You know what you have to do, right?” Dave asked.
“No, I don’t know,” William said, confused. In all the time they’d been friends,
Dave had only shown interest in the women on the boxes in the Adults Only room.
“Well, grasshopper. Prepare for another LESSON!” Dave shouted and leapt behind the
counter. “For I have a tale told from someone who has experience with folks of the
lady variety.”
William, David, and Ed all stared at him, blank-faced.
“You may have doubts, but I can assure you, this is true,” he informed the friend
group. “The key to the perfect evening with a lady... the key to getting laid on a
date... the key to a young lady’s heart is...” He paused too long. “Applebee’s.”
David snorted. William rolled his eyes. Ed went back to shelving tapes.
“Seriously, my brother told me. You take a girl to Applebee’s, you will get laid.
There’s something about their appetizers.”
“I don’t believe that,” David replied.
“That’s why you’re Dave 2. It’s Applebee’s, man. It gets the woman all hot.”
David sighed. “William,” he began, “you can take her to Applebee’s if you want.
Don’t expect the quesadillas to have some sort of magical power. And don’t expect
your girlfriend to want to have sex. You’ll just end up disappointed when it
doesn’t happen.”
“Expect it,” Dave interjected.
“Think about the conversations you’ve had,” David said. “Try to remember if she
mentioned something she wanted and get it for her for her birthday. If you can
think of something before you get out of work, we can go try to find it tonight.”
“Yeah, let’s do that,” William replied. He had three more hours left in his shift.
“If you come up with something, give me a call after work and we’ll go,” David