The Hand Job

by Rip Peterson

Table of Contents

I wasn’t allowed to wander into events or anything like that. I also had to avoid the former First Lady. She did not like me. The few times I had been in the same room as her, her expression as she looked at me was hateful. I’m not sure if it’s because she wanted a turn or maybe I was preventing her from getting all that money. Either way, she hated me and I avoided her.

I got a bit of a tan.

It didn’t suit me.

One thing I didn’t like was that one time, my bathroom got filled with a lot of boxes of papers from his time at the White House. Not sure why he moved them into the bathroom. None of the workers seemed to care that they were preventing me from taking a shower.

But eventually, some people came by and retrieved the boxes. I could finally shower again.

The former president was also going to run for president again.

I figured as such.

Most of the “sessions” involved him mumbling about the last one being rigged.

I told him that he should probably let it go. He gave me a look that would put his wife’s hateful gaze to shame and then didn’t get me McDonald’s for a month.

Lesson learned.

Don’t tell the former president to let it go.

He would also occasionally send girls to my room for you know what. Not hand jobs, but actual sex. I never did anything.

They were pretty but I also don’t want to have sex with someone who is doing it for money or whatever the reason. I want them to have sex with me because they actually like me. I don’t feel like that’s too much to ask.

I had been away a long time at this point.