but we definitely were aging a bit.
I tried talking her into giving me a BJ for my birthday.
She said no.
She always said no.
Which was fine. I didn’t marry her for blowjobs.
Anyway, on the thirty-third birthday, she ended up feeling guilty for the lack of sex or thought it would shut me up for another year and decided to give me a hand job.
I don’t really need to describe what that is. You have internet. You know how to Google.
Anyway, after what I hoped was ten minutes but was probably more like two, I was finished. I don’t think my wife even looked away from the television.
It was some show about women going crazy and killing their husbands. Trying to fall asleep with that on was hard. I felt like she was taking mental notes about how not to get caught.
Once the commercial break started, you can Google that too, she went to the bathroom to wash her hands. She was in there a bit too long.
She came out kind of happy.
Way too happy for someone who had just given a lazy hand job.
The next two weeks were probably the most fun I’ve had in my life. She all of a sudden would want to try different positions. She did give me a BJ. She would run to the bathroom immediately after and come out disappointed.
Every time except for when she gave me a hand job.
She always came out feeling refreshed.