The Apoka Collective

The Hand Job

by Rip Peterson

Table of Contents

Don’t tell the former president to let it go.

He would also occasionally send girls to my room for you know what. Not hand jobs, but actual sex. I never did anything.

They were pretty but I also don’t want to have sex with someone who is doing it for money or whatever the reason. I want them to have sex with me because they actually like me. I don’t feel like that’s too much to ask.

I had been away a long time at this point.

Another election was approaching.

I wasn’t taken on the road. I stayed at the club. They wanted me out of sight. Which I don’t blame them. I’ve seen myself in the mirror, I am kind of creepy looking.

I keep hoping to have one of those “glow-ups” that I heard one of the aides talk about but I think you may have to put some effort into that. And I don’t have time for that. They were starting to show some really good movies on Turner Classic Movies.

So back to election season. There was a session before a debate or something. I heard the other guy did really crappy.

The former President liked to joke about that.

The other guy, who I guess beat the former president in the last election, ended up dropping out. I’m not sure exactly when.

I should probably have been trying to pay attention to this kind of stuff. I just got bits and pieces. TCM doesn’t have a news show so you’ll have to forgive me for not knowing every detail.

Anyway, the former president was gone quite a bit trying to attract voters. When he was gone there weren’t as many people coming to the club,