thing when I met my wife? I don’t remember. But I need to stop doing that and I apologize.
I should probably go to therapy for that. I can’t seem to stop bringing up my wife. My former wife.
So I picked up flowers. Then since I didn’t really know Kimberly and this was the first time I was going on a date with someone I met online, I got an index card and wrote:
PLEASE DON’T KILL ME
She’ll either find it silly or funny enough to back out of her plans to harvest me for one of my kidneys.
She chuckled when she saw it. Just a little. Not enough to let me know either way. Though looking back, she probably thought I could have killed her too.
She led me into her living room and had me sit on the couch. On the coffee table was a footlong sub from Subway.
It was already unwrapped. It wasn’t cut in the middle like they normally do. It was the full twelve inches. Or maybe it was less, I’ve never measured.
She smiled as she sat down next to me.
I scanned the room.
Her place was a little nicer than mine. She obviously didn’t have any kids. She didn’t actually tell me but there was a bong on one of the end tables. If my kids were over there, I know the three year old would have been playing with it by now.
“Are you hungry?” Kimberly asked.