Back to Kimberly. She was sane. She was pretty. She wanted to meet me.
I was pretty thrilled about it.
I assumed that I’d never meet anyone again. That I was damaged goods. But even if the date went bad, it still left me with a little confidence. I’m not completely undatable.
Kimberly invited me to her place. She said she didn’t like going to restaurants on a first date. She claimed that people aren’t their real selves at restaurant dates. That kind of made me nervous but it wasn’t a dealbreaker.
I’d just make sure that I was a bit more presentable down there if something happened at her place, if you know what I mean.
My mom took the kids for the night. She was more excited about the date than I was.
I stopped and picked up flowers on the way to Kimberly’s home. Do guys still do that on first dates? I actually never did it. I met my wife, well former wife, right out of high school. She preferred a bottle of alcohol. Whatever was trendy at the time. Jägermeister? Was Aftershock still a thing when I met my wife? I don’t remember. But I need to stop doing that and I apologize.
I should probably go to therapy for that. I can’t seem to stop bringing up my wife. My former wife.
So I picked up flowers. Then since I didn’t really know Kimberly and this was the first time I was going on a date with someone I met online, I got an index card and wrote:
PLEASE DON’T KILL ME