The Adventures of Luke & Sock Puppet Jesus

by Rip Peterson

Table of Contents

now—”

Rory turned, his grip still tight on the woman’s throat.

“You are ruining things!” the red puppet yelled.

She tried to inhale but couldn’t. Tears formed in her eyes.

Rory lifted her a few more inches off the ground and threw her toward the
window. It shattered. Miss Carriage fell from the top floor of the tallest
building in Bibleopolis.

A defiant scream echoed off the buildings and street below.

The sound of glass shattering and the scream woke Luke. He struggled
against the restraints at first but managed to free his left arm. He broke
the restraint on his right, freeing Sock Puppet Jesus.

“Fuck yeah!” the puppet rejoiced.

The Satan puppet began chanting again.

A small circle of fire appeared three feet behind him. With every
syllable, the circle grew. Loose papers from the desk flew into the air
and began orbiting the hole.

Lightning streaked through the sky. A loud boom followed.

“Fuck this,” Lawson said.

The assistant ran past Roger, who was still livestreaming.

Luke tore the restraints from his legs. He felt energized. It was the most
sleep he’d gotten in a week.

“All right, fucking fuck,” Sock Puppet Jesus announced. “Now it’s gonna be
a fair fucking fight.”

Jesus hurled Luke through the air, and Luke landed a punch on Rory Parker.

The leader stumbled backward.